AI Train System Accidentally Sorts Passengers by Attractiveness
A new artificial intelligence system trialled by East Anglia Rail has caused national uproar after it reportedly began sorting passengers into train carriages based on their perceived attractiveness.
The system, called JourneyOptima, was designed to use facial recognition to improve passenger comfort by “balancing seating demographics.” However, according to eyewitnesses, it appeared to categorise travellers into groups labelled “Premium,” “Standard,” and “Visually Challenging.”
The chaos began on Monday morning when commuters at Norwich station were instructed to “stand near the mirror that best reflects your inner beauty.” Several passengers were then reportedly redirected to a carriage marked “Section C,” which lacked lighting and windows.
One witness, Claire Donnelly, told The Daily Edition, “I thought it was a new loyalty scheme. Then a machine voice told me, ‘You’re beautiful, first class upgrade approved.’ I didn’t know whether to be flattered or frightened.”
East Anglia Rail has since apologised, blaming a “misconfigured attractiveness parameter” in the AI’s software. A company spokesperson said, “The system was meant to allocate passengers by travel frequency and seating preference, not facial symmetry. We are deeply sorry to anyone who was placed in a less photogenic compartment.”
Reports suggest that the AI was trained using stock photos, leading to unintended bias. As a result, anyone wearing sunglasses or eating a Cornish pasty was automatically downgraded. Meanwhile, passengers described as “having cheekbones” were often redirected to the luxury carriages.
Critics have condemned the debacle as “a dystopian fashion show on wheels.” AI ethicist Dr. Marlon Reeves commented, “This is what happens when you let a computer decide who’s worthy of legroom. Next thing you know, vending machines will be judging us for buying crisps.”
Despite the scandal, East Anglia Rail reported a 12% rise in ticket sales, possibly due to curiosity. “I just wanted to see which carriage I’d get,” said one passenger. “Turns out I’m a solid 6.5. Honestly, I’ll take it.”
The company has confirmed the feature has now been disabled, though insiders report the AI continues to quietly rate train drivers out of ten.
