Maine Town Declares Lobsters Official Emotional Support Animals
In an unprecedented move that has left animal welfare groups and seafood restaurants equally baffled, the small coastal town of Rockport, Maine, has officially designated lobsters as emotional support animals.
The decision followed months of heated debate at town hall meetings, where residents argued that lobsters possess a “calming energy” and an “unspoken empathy” that few mammals can match. One local councillor, Beatrice Doyle, described the creatures as “gentle souls in hard shells — a perfect metaphor for modern life.”
Under the new law, residents may now apply for official “Support Lobster” certification, granting them the right to bring their crustacean companions into shops, cafes, and even on flights. Airlines, however, have reacted poorly to the ruling. A spokesperson for Air America said, “We are not equipped to manage dozens of open tanks in the cabin. We’re still recovering from the support ferret situation of 2023.”
The movement began after local fisherman-turned-therapist Larry Cobb claimed that holding a lobster reduced his anxiety. “They don’t judge,” he explained. “They just stare at you with those big eyes, like they understand every bad decision you’ve ever made.”
Residents have embraced the policy wholeheartedly. The local high street now features lobster carriers, crustacean-sized harnesses, and a new grooming salon called Claw & Order. One pub has even introduced a “Bring Your Lobster” night, though several incidents involving unsupervised pinching have forced the introduction of rubber bands as a safety requirement.
Animal rights groups have expressed concern, arguing that lobsters may not appreciate being taken for emotional walks. PETA issued a statement urging the town to “consider the crustacean perspective.”
Despite the controversy, the town’s mental health statistics have reportedly improved, with one doctor claiming “it’s impossible to feel sad while sharing a bus seat with a lobster in a bow tie.”
When asked if the town might extend similar rights to other sea life, Mayor Joyce Feldman said, “Let’s not get carried away. We’re drawing the line at lobsters. Crabs just don’t have the same emotional range.”
