Study Reveals 1 in 3 Adults Now Pretend to Be on a Call to Avoid Small Talk
A new behavioural study has confirmed what many commuters, office workers and supermarket shoppers have long suspected. Roughly one in three British adults now routinely pretend to be on a phone call to avoid small talk, social interaction or being approached by anyone holding a clipboard.
The study, conducted by the National Institute for Social Behaviour, observed more than 4,000 participants across the UK. Researchers found that a growing number of adults have mastered what is known as the “Emergency Call Pose”. This involves raising the phone to the ear, nodding solemnly and occasionally muttering “yes absolutely” while walking briskly toward the nearest exit.
Lead researcher Dr. Harriet Cole described the findings as “unsurprising but deeply impressive”. She explained, “The modern adult already lives in a near constant state of low-level panic, so pretending to be on a call simply streamlines their day. It offers a socially acceptable way to flee while looking productive.”
Participants admitted to faking calls in a wide range of situations, including but not limited to: seeing someone they vaguely recognised from school, being asked if they “have a moment for the environment” and encountering a neighbour at the bins.
One interviewee confessed, “I do it at least twice a day. Sometimes I even forget the call is fake and congratulate myself for being so busy.” Another admitted they had recently upgraded their mobile plan solely to make their lies more convincing.
The research also revealed several sophisticated techniques. Some adults reportedly add moments of silence to mimic a patchy signal, while others incorporate enthusiastic laughter to appear like someone who has real friends. A small but growing group have even begun wearing Bluetooth ear pieces without actually pairing them to anything, a trend the report described as “advanced avoidance behaviour”.
Not all findings were positive. The study warns that fake call culture may be contributing to a national decline in genuine conversation, with many people now unsure how to begin a real chat without a digital prop. Dr. Cole remarked, “We met several adults who could no longer remember how to say hello without first pretending to end a call.” Her team has proposed optional training programmes, including workshops titled “You Can Just Walk Past People” and “Eye Contact Is Not a Threat”.
The government has declined to comment on whether a public information campaign might be necessary, but an unnamed civil servant reportedly mouthed “call me later” before briskly leaving the room.
